Disappear.some daysi want todisappearto vanishinto thina i rand to be the ghostlycaress uponyour c h e e kas you sleepand whisperthe words that i never couldwhen i was right next to youi'd tell youthat youare perfectand thatyou deservep e r f e c t i o nbut thatisn't meand it doesn'tmake me sadbecause i knowi could neverbe good enoughor smart enoughor nice enoughor pretty enoughfor youwith your beautiful w o r d sand your beautifulf a c ei meani'm not special or talentedor anything interestingso i'lldisappearand you can listento my
The Jacket.The Jacket.This isn't a story about a jacket. It's more about the person wearing the jacket. Or the person receiving the jacket; or that person's feelings. Okay, maybe it is about a jacket. Do you remember the jacket?Because I do. I was at your house, like I always was. It was raining out, but it wasn't the brutal, cold rain. The kind that hit your face fiercely paired with a biting wind that made you grit your teeth and want to scream. It was the gentle kind of rain, the kind that made you want to jump in mud puddles and be eight again. The kind that matched with the warm summer air and kissed your cheeks with a wet dew like you
My day.My day.I wake up. It's probably much too early because i was so exhausted that i went to bed at 6PM the night before. Either that, or it's much too late because i stayed up all night drinking or trying to ignore the crushing weight on my chest that refuses to let me dream. If it's much too early, i will most likely fall back asleep. After all, there aren't many distractions at 7AM. If it's much too late, i'll probably still try and sleep. I mean, what is the point in getting up if you don't have much to live for?Eventually, i will wake up. If you aren't home, i'll probably play some mindless video games to distract my mind from the
I Wrote This For You, Two Hours AgoIs this love or hate?It's hard to say. Both burn, scorching my soul and dripping ashes onto my heart. Confusion is something I've always been good at. I've never been able to tell you apart from the enemy. I'll admit, when you left i was bitter and searching for a way to let it loose. I wanted to scream. I had finally found something that was worth it, considering much of everything else wasn't. I had to tear it up and destroy it. Getting too close to someone is one of my biggest fears. Don't you see?I only loved him because i knew he'd never truly love me back. I couldn't love you, because you might actually mean it. It sounds p
Depression.Depression. Something that i don't often talk about. Not many people know that i suffer from it. You see, the problem with depression is that you hide it, therefore no one knows to help you. Not that they would. To put it simply, the world is full of people who don't care. I'm not complaining, though. It's easier to hide it. I mean, what's the only other option?To tell people, and have to explain?They would just tell me that everything could be much worse. I'm not stupid; i know this. Everything could always be worse. It's not really your physical situation, though. At least not for me. It's more the mental state of the person
For you. I think...now that i realize it, it's so much harder to let go. Before i was oblivious. I never realized i was in love with you. Now, though, i know. It's not something that can be assumed or guessed or calculated. It's something of a resolve, a knowing. A certainty. I wouldn't mind spending my life with you, even if it went the same way it was now. Playing video games, joking around, and sleeping. I would mind it one bit, wasting as much time as possible with you. This...feeling. I can't explain it. Knowing that there is someone in my life that i would do literally anything for...well, that's scary. It feels like an instinct sometimes,